1995 – The New Jesus
I was 27 years old and single. It had been two years since graduation day at the University of Oregon and I had already become disillusioned with what I was doing in the prime of my life. I was working in a cubicle office wearing ties and dress socks, speaking words like policy, issuance, remuneration, and audit without cracking a smile. My soul was dying as I was kept busy 40 hours a week, 2000 hours a year, with meaningless tasks for a job and a company I didn’t like. For me it was absurd. So absurd that one day I decided to channel my inert creative energy in an equally absurd, yet more exciting direction. I would make a freakin’ movie!
What qualifications/certification did I have to make a film? Did I have at least 3 years of film school? Did I know the right people? No, no and NO! Just who did I think I was? If there was a gatekeeper, surely I would be denied. Fortunately the only gatekeeper was myself. And this gatekeeper was feeling very generous.
What kind of ground breaking movie would I put to screen? Something between Pulp Fiction and Blair Witch, but 100 times better than both, that’s what! The images I would create would tear up the masses in dumbfounded awe. It was a religious moment and this Jesus wasn’t going to let the moment slip away.
I didn’t have a ready script. What I had was a short story I wrote in college about an evil chess set. I grew up reading fantasy and science fiction, so this story naturally fit my leanings. Script writing was new to me so I searched out for how-to books. I had decided it would be multi-genre: one story would be about two thieves contracted to steal a strange chess set, the other about a young woman discovering she’s gay and having to find a way to tell her boyfriend. I was searching for a story I hadn’t seen or heard before. What is the point of recreating something that has already been done? As far as I knew there had yet to be a Pulp Fiction-esque/Scary Chess game/Lesbian type story.
I was a wanna-be star filmmaker, bridled by ignorance and naivety which protected me from the awesome forces that stood my way. Even if I was aware of the work ahead, I would have proceeded anyway. This new adventure was bringing my fading soul to life. So as I pretended to listen to customers on the phone, hit computer keys, and moved papers from one pile to another, I contemplated my real destiny.
I sat in cafes carefully studying script writing books and trying to string disparate words together in a meaningful and cool way. The title would be: Eden’s Crossing. I even had the poster thought out: a shot of the main character, Eden, with a bridge carefully placed behind her. The symbolism! The double meanings! Is the story about her crossing the bridge? No! Well… maybe yes. That’s ART man! You’d have to see the movie to find out!
Rolling up my sleeves and rubbing my hands together, here’s what I had: A roughly sketched script, myself, a car, and a few hundred dollars. My local cable access center offered cheap camera courses and made their equipment available for free. Their Super VHS cameras were somehow better than normal VHS cameras and weighed 20+ pounds. That baby sat on your shoulders like a rocket launcher and I decided gave me a splendid professional look.The project would have to be shot piecemeal, weekend by weekend. The cable access center had a landmine of crappy equipment which helped reinforce cable access mediocrity. But what do you expect for free? The bored heavy set guy in the equipment room sighed at every complaint and always assured me that yes indeed the equipment did suck. I was attempting to build a masterpiece using Legos.
It was at cable access where I found Steve. He was a nineteen year-old crazy techno wizard who made a pilgrimage to the Consumer Electronics conference in Las Vegas every year. Laughter was the glue that bound our friendship. Restaurants serving chicken strips with honey mustard sauce were our meeting spots, where we planned shoots and which movie to see that night.
I placed ads in the newspaper for actors. Over the following weeks, I received calls from 60+ actors eagerly inquiring about auditions. This wasn’t theater it was a MOVIE for god sakes and every actor had the sad clichéd Hollywood dream. My dream was a means to their dream. I rented a small theater to hold auditions which helped add to the illusion that we knew what we were doing.
About a week later, I agreed to meet a 30 something woman who couldn’t make the auditions. It was early evening when I drove out to her house and in her dining room she performed the scripted lines, while her husband loitered nearby. I made the mistake by telling her she was the last to read for that particular role. After her very bad audition, she asked me point blank if she had the role. I hesitated and told her I had to think about it.
“Oh, come on. You can tell me now. You should know if I’m at least in the running.”
I hesitated some more, looking longingly at the front door at the far end of the room. Her husband hovered in that direction, looking innocent but an obstacle all the same.
To my right was a sliding glass door, but I heard big dogs barking out that way.
“I don’t think you are in the running”, I gulped.
“Why not?! This always happens and I want to know why! I never get called back. What exactly is it that I’m doing wrong?” Her voice was rising and I had a quick vision of a younger version of this feral woman as school yard bully.
I don’t remember how I got out of that house, but I do remember the very bad feeling and the personal promise never to do that again.
This is the power I had: the ability to crush peoples’ dreams. I was a lesser deity fashioning my own world, picking the people to populate it and choosing how they would behave, what they would wear, what words would come out of their mouths.
It was June and my traveling circus was finally gathered, ready to strike out. My initiative and momentum was incredible. Everyone wanted to be aboard: can I shoot in your store? Yes. Can I shoot in your café? Yes. Can I shoot in your house? Yes. Can I shoot in your parking garage, hair salon, office, bathroom? Yes, yes, yes, YES!
The universe was on my side and I was unstoppable. We’d finish easily in time to storm into Sundance with my Super VHS movie and change cinema as we know it!
ravanas game ravanas game ravana’s game david eblen
